"what are these games we dream of?" "this thing that should always be out of reach" "a framework within which i can feel like i am beginning to understand it"

i looked through jack's words from and wondered whether i had been avoiding dealing with the feeling behind keeping a thing 'always . . . out of reach'

p7 (GOALS) "Video games and related participatory media involve various practices yet often engage audiences through narrow distribution channels. The common perception is that video games are fundamentally commercial products, played domestically--often alone--and function in isolation."

My engagement with this text today is well reflected in the opening chapter, goals. I am trying to figure out what to do with droqever, with our conceptual haiku games, what it is that I am even trying to do and why.

This chapter catches a lot of that for me; I feel a dissatisfaction -- but honestly also a fear* -- when I consider tangling with the existing channels. It is difficult for me to work out exactly what part of my drive is a drive away, a negative impulse.

*regarding droqen's "fear"

regarding
game arts curators kit (but the physical printed book special edition)

I suppose that writing out the questions above have exorcised any desire I might have had to do them. That's acceptable to me. I tried doing them yesterday. I let them go.

day 2, i have a game idea from yesterday that has lost all appeal, but the story i wrote a week ago still speaks to me, as does especially the minor life event that i wanted to record. it is diary game time, as described in Yes, this is the way it is.

BLARGH. This is a lot more work than I want to deal with tonight!! I am going to bed!!!

It's important to me to finish something each day. I guess I do have an idea. What should I do tomorrow? If GB has defeated me (has it?) then I look forward to trying to implement it in something else.

the big engine search day 1 result: DEFEATED BY GBDK.

Backlink - the big engine search

OK, I have a nice basic idea. I'm going to start a gb project from scratch... I just want to make a teeny tiny infinite climber. With my new understanding of KISHOTENKETSU, though, I want to be sure that there is a twist.

ki - You are at the bottom of the tower
sho - You begin to climb the tower, it is difficult because

(MINI DESIGN CHALLENGE #1; why is it difficult?)

... OK, keep it simple: it is difficult because you can miss a platform and fall! And if you fall off the bottom of the screen, you die. (The screen scrolls up when you pass the halfway point.)

ki - You are at the bottom of the tower.
sho - You are climbing the tower, jumping from platform to platform, and if you fall then you die (GAME OVER)
ten -

(MINI DESIGN CHALLENGE #2; what could be unexpected, what twist could there be?
gravity reverses? the platforms start to fall? an enemy starts to chase you? you start to collect little coins? locked doors?
suddenly there's a timer: enemies pour out of windows in the tower)

ki - You are at the bottom of the tower. The tower has platforms and windows. you can run and jump.
sho - You are climbing the tower. There are easy jumps and difficult jumps, and you usually choose the easy jumps. Why not, right? There are coins that give you points, though. You want those points.
ten - Some of the windows have glowing blinking eyes inside them. Bats burst out of one of them when you get too close, giving you quite a fright ---- perhaps knocking you off the tower?
ketsu - You get to the top of the tower. You win! Give the player a score and send them on their way.

----

TECHNOLOGY:
- How the hell do I do a scrolling tower sequence?
- How do I do platforms? I am going to do simple one-way platforms.
- How do I do the bats that attack you?
- Points, I need to track points
- How do I generate the level? . . . I should just design it by hand, that'll be easiest.

Today I've been learning GBDK using a set of tutorials by GamingMonsters... my response so far to making gameboy games is that it's easier than I expected! I'm running into friction, and I want to put my finger on exactly where that friction lies.

I am hesitating to create methods. I probably shouldn't; I want to take high level actions, I want to structure things neatly, nest them inside each other... handle problems within their contexts...