i had a minor crisis of faith. why roleplaying games, why stories and narratives, why social games, when Databug is so fun?

but Kat (or, Rose Brie via Kat) keeps me on track:

"artistic works that engage their empathy and their humanity"

Databug is fun and compelling. true. i like the way it sits in my brain.
but it is not worth connecting with someone over, it does not help me grow, it is not important to me...
it does not activate my body, the way a nice breeze would.

while moving through the narrative you have the equivalent of a little rubiks cube toy to pull out and play? it doesn't have to be a narrative toy. the purpose of the toy is to expand and create blank space between moments. the toy could be a chat room too, but it is difficult to build one. or it could be something like cruel world's HACK command, where you opt in to an idle interaction. something simple, like that. something that turns you human again. "travelling by train..." // hey, what if you had to commit x time to exploring a certain direction? surely that would incentivize you to think about your explorations rather than doing them without thinking. oh, i do like that. hmmmmm. you leave the game open. it takes you away from your phone.

a system that gives the same feeling of chilling and resting when out of mana.

the train to nowhere was a blank canvas. just a place where we could exist. i think of the rows of trees in secrets of asherah... a place for time to pass. slow-moving systems. hmm

hmm i need to figure out the difference between a narrative game and a roleplaying game

short narrative game in four parts
- the train(s) to nowhere (and subsequent bus to nowhere)
- the birthday of '24
- burning plastic and choking on the smoke
- chris, no sonia, and the short long way home

the idea of winning an art award or grant, competing against others before a panel of judges, speaks to me. it feels like a form of competition i could actually get into; that is, it actually aligns with my values.

i don't want to take money and attention from other artists, there's nothing virtuous about that.

but it is a battle that i actually care to win.

games like Hawk Cliff Today, but especially like a polaroid of space, games full of specific memories, specific emotions.

remember his belligerence, remember miscommunication, remember stealing your party's loot, your friend's dessert, away from the assembly in the evening.


remember your moments of being human before they are gone, before you are gone.

the festival! it comes a few times a year like flowers

such festivals! they die a few times a year like flowers

but most of all, most of all, i believe the nail in the coffin is that i believe i truly understand the nature of the goal in "The good general is the lord of the people's lives, the guardian of the country's welfare." as well as "I imagine a new role for the architect, in which we take more seriously our responsibility for all form and space in the world . . . Just as doctors, as members of their profession, take the responsibility for the care of illness and disease --- and take this responsibility , in principle, for all the people on the Earth . . ."

. . . I think there is a real positive value that I see in enabling people to create a story together with the assistance of a system without reliance upon it

among us. mafia/werewolf variants played on tbt.

"actually good online roleplaying experiences" . . . discord?

pixel art's interpretability

dwarf fortress' stories, EVE stories, Haven & Hearth stories, blaseball's stories . . . it is not the system that is in common here