"i made a practice of saying no instead
closing my eyes and heart too and doors
the hundred fish i did not catch because."
"ten months of this and a large bird
waited to look at me like a shining stone
lost humanity for the better
the passages remained quietly shut."
"how long i wondered must i leave
these silences sustained forever
in white hoping for something grey
on black horizons."
this poem is another desperate attempt to cling to a fleeting sensation that someday something will justify the awarding of a single point, but it's not today, but it's something like a precious hope for the future, for a tomorrow where the score counter finally changes, a hope