When I play Strife again, I don't want to shoot guys or solve problems or advance a plot.

I only want to revisit this ancient, timeless place.

I remember the beginning of Strife most -- that strange hub full of promise.

It's the same for many games. The hubs where I return are more memorable than the nooks and crannies, the one-off little arenas.

Ganache

The ganache always turns out too liquid.
'Macaron Ingredient Math' changelog:

• Added 10% to 'white couverture' amount

changelog changelog:

• Increased 5 to 10

• What do I want?
• How can I get it?

When I'm playing a game, these are the questions I end up asking myself -- the big, important questions about my experience. If the answer to either question is uninteresting, I don't continue play.

What do I want?

First of all, I must want something. Lately, I've found myself wanting knowledge. I want to know how to do this thing, I want to know what lies behind this door, I want to try something new so that I know what it feels like.

Linear games might expect me to want something, even impress upon me what it is that I ought to want. (I naturally rebel.)

Open-world games often drop the ball, leaving me to wonder what it is that I want and to answer "nothing." (I am nihilistic. RIP)

How can I get it?

Secondly, if I want something, I want to understand how I get there. In some cases the answer being not immediately apparent is interesting -- if the answer is "I don't know, but if I pursue some of my other interests I may find out," that's often compelling enough if I do in fact have other interests as a player.

Pingback: Agency-as-Student

See Time Loop Nihilism.

If there are no material consequences, why do my actions matter? Being "stuck in a time loop" is a specific case of the more general "embodied in a space with no consequences". The conclusions drawn in that thread and explored in Geller's video effectively come down to - you as an individual are still impacted; you are outside of that consequence-free space; the impacts on you are what is meaningful, not what happens inside.

The question of "What agency?" in game as agency fantasy must ultimately be answered with "Agency over self."

I've heard games be described as agency fantasies. It's taken me a while to unspool that thought -- a game is a simulation, so nothing that happens in it matters. Why should I care about the suffering of a fictional character, the death of a fictional world, getting one ending over another? I know not to, but I still want agency.

Agency-as-Student is a tenet-in-development. The games I want to play are agency fantasies of exploration and learning. I can read an incredible book and learn something new. The world is full of great writing sharing great perspectives. A book is a guided tour; when we're in tune, I am exploring and learning hand in hand with its author.

Games can respond to what I want to learn. The agency I have is over my own exploration and learning, my own experience. The agency fantasy is not the fantasy that what I do has an effect on a virtual world without meaning, but the fantasy that I can choose what happens to me, and that I can design my own experience around what I care about.

(Let's not get into the topic of multiplayer games today.)

This might work better? Turned out not hollow!

+ 1 tray on top rack (no bottom protection)
+ 320 for 12 mins

That's it! Try it again like that.

follow-up discord conversation

[jack] i dont understand this last part of your forum thread, it seems to contradict itself or i cant make sense of what you are sad about

Quote from: droqen on April 03, 2022, 04:33:21 PMOne last thing I'd like to say is that initially this was called Transformation Through Comprehension, a distinction I'm sad I removed; in retrospect it seems to me it indicated that not any transformation is legitimate -- only transformation which comes from an improved comprehension (of the truth, of reality), that the important transformation is more like growth, more like one step in the 'pursuit'.

[droq] what I'm sad about is that there is no directionality to the Transformation, just a change
The part of transformation which is 'towards the center' is lost, which maybe makes it more like an ephemeral Aesthetic (some enjoyable 'signal') than it is a... vital step towards a timeless way?[/quote]

[jack] ok that makes sense, i dont get that from 'transformation through comprehension' though haha

[droqen] makes sense 😅 i'll add this conversation and hopefully something will come through

Revisiting Jack's latest letterclub 'Correctness, Progress, and Timeless Truth,' I realize that I just made the same division that he already did! Where I identify Transformation as separate from a discussion of how to achieve it, Jack has already likewise separated the existence of a timeless truth from discussion of process and practice:

QuoteI have been thinking a lot about this 'timeless truth'! We both read 'The Timeless Way of Building', which addresses it directly, but I've also been seeing similar ideas in other things I've been reading. Maybe for now I will just share some quotes from these readings, and connect it to process and practice next time...

One last thing I'd like to say is that initially this was called Transformation Through Comprehension, a distinction I'm sad I removed; in retrospect it seems to me it indicated that not any transformation is legitimate -- only transformation which comes from an improved comprehension (of the truth, of reality), that the important transformation is more like growth, more like one step in the 'pursuit'.

I believe I've done just that.

Just to reiterate, Transformation refers to the transformation of one's self, or perspective of the world around them.

To say that art may 'evoke' this is taking too much credit, assigning cause-and-effect too directly.

Art may be a vehicle or catalyst for personal transformation, which I find is perhaps its most beautiful duty.

Transformation is one aspect of the meaning of life.

Initially this Tenet was entitled Transformation Through Comprehension, but as MDA separates Aesthetics from the Dynamics which evoke them, I think it might be useful to similarly break down cause and effect.

This thread is focused on identifying simply What is Transformation? and not How is it best achieved?

MDA's Aesthetics are 'desirable emotional responses,' and it may be more accurate to say that Transformation is something a little beyond that. It is not simply the emotional response which I value, but the longstanding impact that it has on my life: see precursory tenet Art is Life-Changing.