" our working definition . . gameplay is 'the player actions that instantly shape the outcomes that are measured by the games system to determine wins, losses, and score' . . is that gameplay? does it have to be? as The End of Gameplay puts it, 'Who Could Want Gameplay?' "

Drew introduces the episode by saying the game is out!! And here we are at the height of the Flower Moon, yes we are. I think this is interesting, I just want to see... where this goes. What do I say about this? What does Drew?

"the kind of gameplay droqen doesn't want to make anymore" -1:20

what do i want. what has always guided my actions. what are my principles. i have them, here they are, transcribed from my ipad-notebook. maybe i don't always feel this way, i definitely have bad days, but on good days, when i have all the energy and hope in the world...

DO I EVEN
CARE ABOUT
"ENJOYING
MY LIFE"?

I WANT
  - TO BE SEEN, RESPECTED,    <3
     ADMIRED BY OTHERS
& especially by those i respect
and admire in turn
  - TO ALWAYS DO MY
     BEST; TO DO GOOD;
     TO HELP PEOPLE
money is fake;
emotions
are real.
kill gameplay,
 help people for real.
  - TO KEEP EXPLORING,
     MAKING DISCOVERIES
(the sheer joy-of-life)
    - TO LET NOTHING, EVER,
       GET IN THE WAY OF ANY
       OF THIS.

I want to know again by my senses who someone is, before I open them.

The quiet era approaches. Let such a dream of focus settle upon my shoulders. Eyes closed. Who is touching the back of my hand? Whose hand am I holding?

I want to be reborn.

"face your fears" is the old phrase, i guess, but it's too old

and besides it is lacking this vital everyday quality. and, too, this breaking-things-up piece.

but maybe a new thing is that the goal ultimately is to love facing these scary things... i wish there was a great phrase that came to mind for me, something really STICKY