is the devil how i feel about gameplay, or is it a bad thought that i find myself returning to & dwelling on? feelings of powerlessness and entrapment... i think that gameplay is a (bad) salve for these feelings, that's how i feel about it.

gameplay is the devil.

i'm very satisfied with sylvie's answer to my ever deeper question hole.

i asked, why create game-worlds for players to exist within?

sylvie wrote:

Quotei don't really know how to answer because i like game worlds so much that it's like you're asking me "why create strawberry ice cream?" except it's something even better than ice cream that contains fragments of a human soul

i could theorize more but i feel that on some level it's simply true that existing is nice, whether it's in the real world or in a game-world. i'd like to remember this thought and this feeling.

strawberry ice cream.

oh damn. day 40. that means we're more than halfway done. when did that happen? wtf? did i miscount? no, i guess not. okay, well, i've been drawing a shit ton of sword cards. i've been forcing them to come out because they weren't coming out the normal way... i'm sorry, tarot, for this grave mistreatment. i forgot about some things i had meant to do today. my energy levels wax and wane. i was going to ask about that, but i already asked about energy levels yesterday and i know what it said, i still remember what it said...

i have a big meeting coming up, i'm going to meet a bunch of people, then we're going to start work in earnest. i hope. ah, maybe i should ask about the gameplay part of the work: other people seem to like gameplay, seem to think of it as important. game-worlds... what do i want? yes, tarot, that's what i'm asking. what do i want?

(reply to) sylvie's Tests of Skill & related Bluesky conversation

1. Texture
[ A. (sylvie's claims, paraphrased)
Knytt lacks texture because there's no 'tests of skill'
Seiklus has texture because there ARE 'tests of skill' (patience, knowledge)
In Sylvie Lime and Funeral Song.., tests of skill mark certain areas as more dangerous or less dangerous (they add texture)
  B. (my response)
This is a positive outcome of adding tests of skill, but not a 'living' reason to add them in the first place. Without a solid reason-to-exist, I would label this as BAD -- but I didn't mean bad like don't notice and appreciate this, I meant bad like... it's a bad load-bearing pillar. The texturedness of test-laden space is beautiful, but does not provide the need to introduce tests of skill into the language of a work.
]

2. I fill platformer worlds with tests of skill almost reflexively
I simply agree with this point. Once you have controls and are designing levels, I understand the impulse to design levels that are interesting to navigate, and a major part of that interestingness we may call 'challenge'. Unlike 'texture' above, this is something that unfolds from the material itself. I would label this as GOOD!

3. Exploring a world requires knowledge, time, and effort.
[ A. (sylvie, quoted)
"Exploring a world requires knowledge, time, and effort. . . . To see something new, rather than mere patience, or the application of knowldge, you need to demonstrate . . ."
  B. (my response -- or, in this case, open question)
Sylvie's claim at the end of her article is missing something for me. Exploring a world... Is she saying that in order for an experience to feel like "exploring a world" that some tests of skill must be introduced? Or is it the other way around, where once a world has been built, there is no way to allow a player to explore it without the player's knowledge, time, and effort?
]

kinopio thoughtspace: https://kinopio.club/sylvies-tests-of-skill-Iswz8tROyVaKrreWSlQf2

[AB]

had a long chat with Linker & sylvie on blue sky about this topic, no quotes (you can hunt down our exchange under the bleetskeet link above)

SHARING DEFENSELESSLY... i have had this thought bubble up a few times, that game designers can be quite defensive not only of their work but in the work itself... sometimes tests of skill feel "defensive" to me, attempting to increase playtime, or create better 'fit' within a genre.

when it comes to the titular "TESTS OF SKILL" let's not get caught up in that actual concept as though it is bad or good! the issue is that i do not understand the motivation for their inclusion.

one thing that sylvie says that i relate to v much is...

oops i fell asleep before writing what i relate to and now i don't remember. well--this looks to me more like a Reply than an elaboration on my Procedure anyway, so i'll go to that other subforum and link it here.

alright, what is it that i can take away from this reading?


-- the process of making two new cards, and socializing, and generally giving myself in to a process has re-energized me, which is its own kind of answer. harmony and balance and... calm. temperance is not the introspective aloneness of the hermit, but i think it might represent a different kind of peaceful aloneness. being opposed by the four of pentacles suggests to me that this sense of calm doesn't come from holding jealously on to what i have, suggesting i should still... somehow... pursue moments of calm while going outside of my comfort zone. leave my narrow spotlight.

-- the nine of swords in the past suggests that i've dwelt alone in fear of the future. that absolutely works with my reading of this 'open temperance'. and in the future, the three of swords... well... i asked what can i do about having low energy, and i suppose emotional grief, and pain, are not the opposite of being low on energy. Tina Gong writes for labyrinthos, "rejection, betrayal, hurt and discouragement. In moments like these, we are well served by the mind." . . . remember that the swords are the domain of the mind, the intellect.

-- open myself up calmly to the hurt of the world. sure, that gives me energy. perhaps low energy comes from this fear: fear of pain.