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Compulsion

Started by droqen, July 04, 2022, 10:40:16 AM

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droqen

Regarding Zeigfreid's
"responding-to-droqen.html"
(note: link is knowingly broken)

droqen

Quotehe writes and publishes books, but I never get the sense that he has much stock in those books being read. I think he's mainly interested in writing them, but then why does he publish them?

Why did we send that golden record out into space?

I don't know! I'm very interested in the answer to this question, Zeigfreid. If not to be heard, to affect something or someone, why publish? Why release? Why hit send at all? It seems a strange fantasy to do a thing with your life, only appreciating the imagined outcome. But I guess one day we will all die, so everything past the window of our lives is imagined in the same way.

droqen

QuoteAll art, nay, all signals have this kind of compulsive engine.

I absolutely agree. I think... mainly, I have resisted the idea for too long. I am embracing it now, even if I'd like to judge it as evil, or at best amoral and restrictive.

droqen

A line from Bo Burnham's "Can't Handle This":

QuoteCome and watch the skinny kid with a
Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts
To give you what he cannot give himself

I have designed games that feel a little bit like the random walk of exploring design space:

cloud exile and simple tour are a couple of examples.

In some ways I like this random walk -- the balancing act of 'compelling' vs 'pure in intent' vs 'accomplishable within my human and technological constraints'. But it's also very frustrating, and I enjoy making games that are equally frustrating. I wonder how much of it is out of jealousy: that my players should not be allowed to enjoy this more than I did.