TAROT

[droqen]

DAY 11 - OCTOBER 5 - SIX OF CUPS
how do i balance --- and +++? this one is hard to interpret...
i realized the question is similar to yesterday's. i suppose i have the same things on my mind.
DAY 12 - OCTOBER 6 - SEVEN OF WANDS
what will i get out of {KotQ}? why am i doing it?
... a struggle? this one makes no sense. unless i interpret in a certain way, about games broadly in general.
why am i still making games? then, the answer makes sense. i'm fighting to prove i'm still a game maker, maybe.
DAY 13 - OCTOBER 7, 12:49 NOON - THE EMPEROR
what am i going to end up having done by the end of this month?
perhaps i should interpret this as saying i'm going to become organized. the emperor is also representative of a certain type of energy from someone in my life. maybe their influence or desires will come to fruition too?

[droqen]

DAY 14 - OCTOBER 8, 8 AM - EIGHT OF WANDS
how can i get anything done, how can i focus, how do i choose what to focus on?
jfc the tarot is very explicitly telling me to do what i'm already good at.
just do it fast.

"movement, speed, progress, quick decisions, sudden changes, excitement"

"The image depicted by the Eight of Wands means that the difficulties that were brought by the Seven of Wands are finally over."
you mean the seven of wands that i picked up two days ago? yes that's pretty damn fast, tarot.

i am happy to receive this card, as i am always happy to receive a card that tells me what i already know.
stay the course.

[droqen]

DAY 15 - OCTOBER 10, 1PM
(What do I need?) TEN OF PENTACLES
(AC) QUEEN OF PENTACLES --- (MM) JUDGEMENT

I missed yesterday. It was full of other tarot readings, so, it's all good. We're on day 15 and I did a little reading for something I'm conflicted about.

I need a ten of pentacles - for long term effort and stability to pay off. The choices that are being presented are
the Queen of pentacles - a suit match, a sensible choice, a person good at planning and executing
and Judgement - POWERFUL self-reflection and self-evaluation.

[droqen]

DAY 16 - OCTOBER 11, 2PM
how will this new journaling game project, "walking across the ocean," go?
who should i be talking to, what should i be worried about, what will i get out of it?
ACE OF SWORDS

about to experience a moment of breakthrough... swords are the intellect. this checks out. "It is . . the best time to work on your goals - as the aces all give green lights, and are signals of waiting opportunities and new beginnings." "justice and the truth" "your conscience is clear, and your thoughts are swift." moral clarity of purpose, and the mental acuity to cut that gordian knot. i know i'm doing this for the right reasons -- of goodness.

[droqen]

re: HOW SHOULD I SPEND MY ENERGY ON [X]? how much? a lot, a little? tell me
DAY 17 - OCTOBER 12 - 3:40 PM - THE CHARIOT
the chariot sends me big balance vibes; there are obstacles; BALANCE THE MIND AND HEART; success is possible; focus.

focus... i'm not sure i understand, tbh. i suppose i don't yet understand the problem enough for the chariot to represent anything.
i could in theory focus... on making a choice. but that feels far off yet.
focus.

"success, ambition, determination, willpower, control, self-discipline, focus"

self-discipline. don't get distracted.

edit:: OKAY, I get it. I can spend energy on [X], but remember to connect it to my ambitions and goals. Focus. Use [X] as a focus, not as a distraction. Focus.

[droqen]

HOW DO I STOP?
DAY 18 - OCTOBER 13 - 10:19 AM - KNIGHT OF PENTACLES
argh, this dude again
"The Knight of Pentacles is about the daily tasks and the responsibility that one has to gain through a specific project."
have a project. have daily tasks. have responsibilities. cool cool cool. this is how i stop anything -- by focusing on something else.

". . . reliable, commited to his work. . . . there is a need to be trustworthy and reliable."

[droqen]

how do i make games with flexible human value structures? i am working on a journaling game - that feels right, although it sucks and is scary. i have a job on the horizon. it's a game, but a nice, loose one. hmm.
what's my question...
i've created a kinopio space about videogames' coercive value structures.
i want clarification on what my goals should therefore be, and especially the role that games play in getting me there.
DAY 19 - OCTOBER 14 - 9:45 AM - TWO OF PENTACLES
... I've seen this card come up before! I know it. My first instinct was to interpret it as saying (unhelpfully) "just balance these two things!" -- what two things? games' coercion against freedom? but... "The 2 of Pentacles suggests that you're working hard to make sure all your bills are paid. You may have to do a juggling act right now . . ."

is that all games are?

[droqen]

with whom do i share my journaling games?
who will get the most out of them? who is the most open?
and how will i know how to find them?
DAY 20 - OCTOBER 15 - 9:45 AM
THE HIGH PRIESTESS (off the bottom of the deck)
= "unconscious, intuition, mystery, spirituality, higher power, inner voice"
SEVEN OF WANDS (off the top, properly shuffled)
= "protectiveness, standing up for yourself, defending yourself, protecting territory"

hmm. yeah. this is what i'm already doing. listen to my intuition.
interpreting the seven of wands is interesting; "defending his position"...

i'd like to keep these games private, for a while. i'm definitely defensive about them: i want to share them only with people who i trust. follow my intuition. i think when i release them i will find myself in a seven-of-wands-like position. on guard against my enemies. i don't want to stand alone against that seemingly overwhelming, outnumbering tidal wave of opposition.