You Don't Have To Do It Alone, But Plan As Though You Do -- and then accept help

[droqen]

[AB]

I had a realization this morning about working in teams.

[droqen]

I find it's very easy to come to rely on others, to relax in this way, to let go of responsibilities and understanding.

"I don't have to do X", "I don't have to think about X", "X isn't my problem anymore". These lines of thinking are very attractive, very comfortable. But as I lean into them I lose sight of the whole and my way of thinking actually becomes more fragmented again and harder to hold onto. It's very important not to do this.

I have heard the refrain, "You Don't Have To Do It Alone," and I wanted to defuse the power of this phrase... I'm not sure whether I've done that yet, but I'm starting by writing this down here. I don't have to do it alone, but it helps to pretend that I do. To imagine, what if I do? Often this makes a task more manageable in my own head, to allow myself to step back and consider the entire thing within my domain.

Then, when I step back inside the reality of getting the work done, I can accept help -- and, understanding each step from a practical standpoint (this is how I would do it, I know, because I've imagined doing it myself along with every other task involved), this acceptance of help comes with ultimately a greater appreciation of what must be done. If someone else is helping me, I know all the work that I suppose they are doing. And if I'm wrong, if I'm wrong about the work that they are doing, or about the best way to go about it, then I can learn and adjust my model.

But at least I have a first draft. At least I can be wrong rather than completely thoughtless with regards to that area. We can discuss in what ways I am or was wrong, we can perhaps argue and have a disagreement as necessary, I can be wrong or I can be right, we can actually talk about it.