alright, on with it.

a brief aside. my mom sent me an hour long video by someone talking about personal finance because, i think, she worries about me and my personal finances. haha. anyway, the speaker seemed like not a total scam artist and so i said cool and asked, has he written anything?

she said no. "he prefers to speak," she said, to which i responded, "darn. i prefer to read."

...

i watched Pixel a Day's video 'Starseed Pilgrim and The Void' a while back and really enjoyed it, for reasons that i tried to tell myself were not wholly fueled by ego. here is another video that i think is along the same vein, and i was about to watch it, when what do you know -- i stumbled upon a transcript! an official transcript.

a transcript of a video is not the same as a nice chunky tome or even an essay and i understand that by reading a transcript i am not receiving the full effect of the video. i am missing things, for sure. but as i said to my mom.

i prefer to read.

thanks, kat, for publishing the transcript. i appreciate it.

I ought give the system NO REGARD. It was loose supporting structure that I tried to fill rather than... well, rather than what? Make an interaction with your generals without a hard system to back it up? That doesn't sound so bad. I should have simply designed the bridge without the war.

Lack of movement, freedom of movement... being a tourist. Every room, or every haiku, full of further secrets, nested. My unreleased "golden grape" game has a beginning and an end. I'd like to do away with that...

What I mean is that my impulse, developing it further, is to put something in between the player and reaching the end. Subversions, diversions, distractions, all. I can't tell how I feel about the trees. But I feel something about them. I think: I could add another system. The roots, you could attack the roots to kill the trees on the surface.

Maybe my negative present emotion is not at all about the trees but about the second game I made, the attempt to build an ultimately RTS-like system. I don't know any of the implications of this system. I wish I had a name for this bad feeling. Designing a system doesn't feel bad all the time, but there's something about this one that does. There's no input, no play.

hmm. a thought i return to time & again.

being noticeably against something is less interesting to me than giving it no regard, leaving it be.

to think of the self as one of these things, in a work. to find the center between caring and uncaring...

character stories. i wanted to know... what happens to the characters? cave story, etrian odyssey, slay the princess, kingdom of loathing, fire emblem, disgaea; these all have characters of a sort. grimgar, the black company, .hack//sign, about time, these are all human stories about people's struggles with situations. the stakes are human.

a haiku... i think of a haiku as written by someone... there is a character there, i think. the speaker is a character. it does not feel quite so with a game, especially one where the design has taken over. there is no speaker, there is no speaker. the speaker recedes. the speaker becomes invisible. the speaker dies.

AUDIENCE [INTERESTS]

- educational workshops
- skill-building events
- networking opportunities
- worker rights

- interest in specific games and genres

- broader view of culture
- cultural comparisons