Quote7. Its fate is to be gradually allowed to be decathected [decathect: to withdraw one's feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss], so that in the course of years it becomes not so much forgotten as relegated to limbo. By this I mean that in health the transitional object does not 'go inside' nor does the feeling about it necessarily undergo repression. It is not forgotten and it is not mourned. It loses meaning, and this is because the transitional phenomena have become diffused, have become spread out over the whole intermediate territory between 'inner psychic reality' and 'the external world as perceived by two persons in common', that is to say, over the whole cultural field.

QuoteAt this point my subject widens out into that of play, and of artistic creativity and appreciation, and of religious feeling, . . . etc.

Quote5. Yet it must seem to the infant to give warmth, or to move, or to have texture, or to do something that seems to show it has vitality or reality of its own.

Quote6. It comes from without from our point of view, but not so from the point of view of the baby. Neither does it come from within; it is not a hallucination.

Quote2. The object is affectionately cuddled as well as excitedly loved and mutilated.

Quote3. It must never change, unless changed by the infant.

Quote4. It must survive instinctual loving, and also hating and, if it be a feature, pure aggression.

p7

QuoteSummary of special qualities in the relationship

1. The infant assumes rights over the object, and we agree to this assumption. Nevertheless, some abrogation of omnipotence is a feature from the start.

Chapter 1, "Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena"

It is upsetting how closely page 7 mirrors my experience of making games (art, i suppose)

QuoteThe mother provides what the baby is ready to imagine and in so doin she facilitates the baby's pleasure in a world that fosters its sense of omnipotence. . . . [and facilitates or observes] the transition from having all its needs automatically met, in utero, to a capacity to accept the otherness of the external world. . . over a long period of time during which the [baby's/child's] early sense of omnipotence was gradually succeeded by manageable frustrations.

QuoteThe same mother who provided the object that was made transitional [(from omnipotent to frustratingly external?)] is the mother that fails to meets the baby's needs according to its ability to grow as a result of the graduated failures.

I don't normally read prefaces, but I suppose this one caught my heart on the way back from the library, so this time I will quote it -- to indicate my alliance with its spirit and my consequential excitement about reading this book.

QuoteThis collection of essays . . . has been read and reread with profit by those interested in the ideas for their own sake, as well as all those who are trying to understand human beings in order to help them.

omg, it me (it both me)

QuoteIn addition to a running description of his theory, Winnicott typically tells us over and over again what he means to get across. Each repetition adds some new element, as if in rehearsing these ideas he surprises himself with something new at the end of trajectory of thought he has built up to that point.

beautiful structure being described here, i love it. take me on a journey of discovery with a kindred mind.

Quote. . . in the form of an object that is both created and discovered, . . . the characteristic that yields freedom and joy to babies and all who were once babies.

in The End of Gameplay, i return again and again to the bunny, to bunnies... "we were all bunnies." when i read some of Winnicott's other book, i had a moment where i felt "we were all babies" emerging as a construction; here, i love the preface's phrase (emphasis added above), "all who were once babies."

it's such a beautiful and context-giving way to say, simply, 'everyone.'

[AB]

- however, i think i'm at a point where i don't fully understand my goals -- or the goals of the art -- what do i want to help make, what do i want to encourage?
- j's dance video, the movement of the body
- it's the process, not the outcome
- i think that in order to progress i need to legit read some of this expressive art literature
- when i fall into outcome thinking, it causes me psychic damage
- i need to find my way before i can help anyone else
- that's what i think. it's nice to chat with my friends but i don't know that i'm helping in the way that i think i started on this path to help.

i've run a kind of "pilot" version of DDC (bad name) with four friends
i learned
- it's easy to fall into this mode of talking about game design where... suggestions are made, and we imagine the game in our minds
- i think in general i want to get to a place of seeing where i can't help, but sometimes i do have practical advice that could solve problems (e.g. time management techniques - not that i am particularly good at time management myself! but i have knowledge)
- once i get to the place where i can't help, that's the interesting place, where i think a person is figuring things out as a peer
- at this point i want to just be there and observe and understand. these people are doing their cool stuff and they're allowing me into their private space, and it's really lovely. i think that when you're doing stuff, it's nice to just have a sounding board who is there with you - maybe it's a little overconfident of me to say, but i think i'm good at getting to this place with people, i like to be the egoless mirror

We were all babies.

There is so much more but I'm for the moment overwhelmed and charmed by some of the ideas of "babies as persons". The play of the child, the way of learning, the moments of return to babyhood.

p73
". . . your baby is growing up, but his forward march is not maintained all the time. You will find this all along. . . . every now and again he will be just a baby, even a tiny baby. . . .

     Your older boy is dressing up and bravely fighting enemies. He is ordering everyone about. He bumps his head on the table as he stands up and then suddenly he is a baby, with his head on your lap, sobbing."

p67-68

Quote. . . there could be a beginning, a middle, and an end to what happened; there was a total happening. This is good for the baby. When you are in a hurry, or are harassed, you cannot allow for total happenings, and your baby is the poorer. When you have time, however, . . you can allow for these. Total happenings enable babies to catch hold of time. They do not start off knowing that when something is on it will finish.
     Do you see how the middle of things can be enjoyed (or if bad, tolerated) only if there is a strong sense of start and finish?
     By allowing your baby time for total experience, and by taking part in them, you gradually lay a foundation for the child's ability eventually to enjoy all sorts of experiences without jumpiness.

Chapter 11, "The Baby as a Person," or, total happenings

Pages 65-69